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The
Board |
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by:
Ruby |
Rating:
G
Disclaimer:
The Magnificent Seven is owned by Trilogy, Mirish and MGM. No money
is being made. This fanfic is purely for entertainment purposes
Author's
Notes: Well, I've been reading the discussion on the list, and I
feel out of it (of course, I *always* feel 'out of it' <g>), so
I thought I'd try my hand at making up an AU. Please don't take this
seriously. (I honestly don't have a mean bone in my body. Well,
except for that *one*, but we don't talk about that.<g>) I'm
really just having some fun here. I love all of you guys. Feedback is
greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think.
Seven
characters fight to win in the game of their lives...
(Cue
Star Wars music...)
From
the mind that brought you these entertaining incidents...
"These
minors drank all of my beer!"
"Miners?"
Ruby leaned over to whisper in Mindy's ear. "Why's she keep
callin' us miners? I've never mined a day in my life."
and...
"So
that's a hamburger, Coke and one large fry?"
"A
large fry? No, I don't want a large fry. I want a box with a lot of
fries in it."
and...we
can't forget...
"The
straightjacket is uncomfortable to begin with...but once those drugs
start to kick in..."
From
*that* mind comes this epic of two sides faced in battle. The dark
side and the light. Black and white.
The
'War and Peace' of fanfics.....
(Star
Wars music fades to anticipatory silence )
THE
BOARD Mag7 Chess/AU
Let's
meet the characters...
Ezra
Standish - The always charming White ROOK
"Rook?"
Ezra drawled in his best 'Scarlett O'Hara' voice, "Why, I do
declare, why ever would I be the Rook?
"Rook?"
Ruby picked the small piece up off the board, turning it in her
fingers, peering at it intently. "Rook?" she chuckled,
"Oh, I thought it was a Crook."
"Oh,"
Ezra smiled, his dimples showing, "that explains it." He
paused, "H-e-y!"
Buck
Wilmington - The ever helpful White KNIGHT
"Mrmmmrmmm.
Smack. Mrmmmmm."
"Mr.
Wilmington?"
"Mrmmmmm.
Smacksmack. Mrmmmmm."
"AHEM!
Mr. Wilmington."
"Mrrmmmm....er...a...what?"
"What
are you doin'?"
He
grinned coyly. "I'm just teachin' the Black Queen a little French."
"Can
you put her back now?"
"Oh,
why sure, darlin'. And, Miss Ruby, did I ever tell you how green
your eyes are? How red your hair is? Ho- ummph!!"
(We'll
just get rid of the Knight. Who needs a Knight in shining armor
anyway. I mean, come on! This is the real world, and we don't want
Knights, we want COWBOYS!)
JD
Dunne - The White PAWN
"The
PAWN? What do you mean the pawn?? I demand a better Piece. Why can't
I be the Knight?"
"Hey,
I'm the Knight." Buck toned in.
"But,
Buck, you're in the trashcan."
"Oh."
JD's
face was dripping with incredulity; grabbing his handkerchief, he
wiped it off. "I am not a Pawn! I...am...a...Human Being!"
Chris
Larabee - The White King
"The
Black King," Larabee hissed.
"Um...begging
your pardon, Mr. Larabee, but you *need* to be the White King. You
can't be the black king on the white side. It just won't work.
Chris's
eyes narrowed. He spoke through clenched teeth, "I have to be
the Black King. I'm the 'darkly dressed gunslinger,' 'the man in
black,' 'the...' " He reached down, letting his hand rest on the
butt of his gun. "Besides, *I* have a Peacemaker."
".....Alrighty
then. The Black King it is.
Vin
Tanner - The White Queen
"WHAT?"
The tracker's voice squeaked. He cleared his throat. "What the
hell are you talkin' about?"
JD
snickered.
A
chortle could be heard comin' from the direction of the waste basket.
Ezra
gasped, trying to hide his chuckle and keep his 'poker face' firmly
in place.
"What
the hell? Why am I the Queen?"
"
'Cause, you've got the hair."
"This
is..." he spluttered, "This is...outrageous."
Chris
grabbed Tanner around his neck, pulling him close. "Come here,
Baby." He kissed the tracker on the side of the face."
A
mare's leg suddenly appeared. "We're about two seconds from
seein' what the Black King looks like on the inside."
"Chuckle."
"Chortle."
"Gasp.
Can't breathe. Need...air.....Ack...Thud!"
"Quick,
someone call the medics, Ezra's down! " Josiah yelled, just so
he could be *in* this dang story. "Trying to keep his poker face
in place must a been too hard for his heart," the ex-preacher
spoke, tears glistening in his eyes while he pushed the dark hair off
the gambler's forehead.
"This
is nine-one-one control. What is your emergency?"
"JD!"
Buck yelled, "Stop playin' with that toy fire truck and call 911."
"El-mo
to the rescue."
"JD!!"
"..."
"I'm
fine!" Ezra jumped up, shaking the caring hands from his body.
"Another
miracle," Josiah cried. "Thank you, God." He looked
toward heaven.
"Yes,
well, actually, I just needed to get my obligatory 'I'm fine' into
this story." Ezra almost looked sheepish.
"Oh."
On
with the story...
Josiah
Sanchez - The White BISHOP
"..."
"Aren't
you going to complain?"
"Nope."
"Really?
You're not gonna cry and scream and call your Union?"
"Nah.
I'm just happy to be *in* one a your stories." Josiah shook his
head at Nathan, receiving a knowing look in return.
"Oh...well...Okay."
Nathan
Jackson - The White...um...er...just a sec.
(Ruby
consults the voices in her head. "Hey, what are the other chess
pieces?" "I don't know; I don't play chess." "You
don't?" "Nope." "Me neither." "Ahh he-ll!")
Nathan
Jackson - The White...um...SOMETHING AS SOON AS I THINK OF IT
Well,
Folks, there you have it. The exciting beginning of one of the most
anticipated fanfics of the year. Will there be an actual story?
THE
BOARD Mag7 Chess/AU
Coming
soon to a monitor near you...maybe...
January
2001
Ruby1481_7@yahoo.com
Please
let me know what you think. I'd love to know. |
